When a couple seek marriage or relationship counselling, it usually means that there are quite a few issues already there and that a certain amount of damage had been done.

Marriage/Relationship Counselling

Marriage counselling can be very helpful in working through the issues; both individually and as a couple.

• Individual counselling can assist with: releasing the problems, re-assessing what has been going on during the difficult times, recognising the damage and working out what changes need to be made to improve the relationship, if it is to continue.
• Joint Counselling. When both parties feel ready and have worked through their issue and there is no anger or resentment left, it is time to bring them back into a joint session, to voice the changes that need to be made, set some new boundaries and introduce some new positives to the relationship.

Marriage counselling can also be about not knowing exactly what is wrong in a relationship, but there appears to be nothing left in common or to talk about. This could be the time when 'empty nest syndrome' is happening. You have both spent all your time supporting and being a part of the children's lives and suddenly they are off and coping on their own (to a point). Getting to know each other again, as you are now, can be quite a scary thought. This is because you have both changed over the years and what was once important to you, has now been replaced with something else. But with a little support and guidance this is totally possible.

Separation Counselling

If a couple make the decision that things cannot be fixed, or that they cannot build up a new relationship from the foundation that was laid when they first met, then it is important to continue with Separation Counselling. This is important to ensure that they can accept the decision that has been made and release any anger, resentment, confusion and frustration; as the last thing that is needed is to take this baggage along into any future relationship.

It is also about learning how to 'move on', and begin a life sharing children or making new arrangements for their job, home, financials and/or family.

This can be a difficult time in itself and knowing that you can talk to a non-judgemental Professional Counsellor, can be very helpful. Knowing there is support and guidance for as long as it is required.

If you feel you would like to talk to a Professional Counsellor and could benefit from Counselling, give Sharon Bonello a call on 0419 433 318.

Sharon is a qualified Professional Counsellor with a Diploma in Professional Counselling. Or, call the practice at Bella Vista on 02 8883 1758 to make an appointment. Some out of hours appointments are available.

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